The celebrity version of why did the chicken cross the road

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must First deal with the problem on THIS side of the road before it goes After the problem on the OTHER SIDE of the road. What we need to do is Help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his CURRENT Problems before adding NEW problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he Wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

NANCY PELOSI:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to Know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is Either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image Of the chicken crossing the road.

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been Allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's Intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his Eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a Standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price Dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider Information.

DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the Chicken crossed the road, but why it Crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth in Front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's Why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott All chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media Whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That Chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that .

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the Chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it Experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its Life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but Will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your Checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new Platform is much more stable and will never cra..#@&&^( C \ .. Reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath The chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

Miley Cyrus, not so innocent anymore

The Hanna Montana star had some "racy" photos leak out to the press. I thought nothing more of it especially since Miley made a statement that they (the photos) where taken at an innocent slumber party. Then I took a look at the photos and changed my mine completely. Now I know some 13-15 year olds (friends of my daughter) and I asked them what they thought of the photos - one word came out, YUCK! Those photos show a girl with another girl doing some very heavy petting with each other. One can only hope that Billy Ray will put a stop to his 15 year old daughter's antics, otherwise she will end up being the next Jamie Spears.

Will Dick Clark return to tonight to count down the New Year?


It has been a New Year's Eve tradition to celebrate New Year's Eve with Dick Clark. He has been hosting and producing the show since 1972. There has been only one break in 2004 when he had suffered his massive stroke only weeks before the show. He had been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes when he suffered the stroke. The next year 2005 he appeared on the show only this time showing visible signs of his stoke aftermath. Some applauded his efforts while others said his time was up for the show. Last year, 2006 he made a brief appearance and everyone is wondering if he will be appearing again tonight.


His current health condition still has him in a wheelchair but he can walk. His face still shows some signs of his stroke. At 78 he is a fighter.

Heather Mills McCartney in debt and on a spending spree at the same time

Heather Mills the ex-wife of Paul McCartney is reported to be in so much debt from the divorce proceedings that she will have to sell her home. At the same time she is throwing a large lavish ball for New Years eve. I guess she had to fire her financial consultant!

Playboy mansion reality show has a 70% female audience

Woman watching Hugh Hefners playboy playmates romp around the playboy mansion? I thought that men would be the larger audience. Of course maybe most men would be but their wives won't let them watch or they have children in the house. I find the article below flawed in the statics of woman being the larger audience. Maybe I am wrong in thinking that most woman want more out of life than making themselves look pretty and having their photo taken.

Jenessa Byers has passed away

The little trooper that lived in Oregon has died. She will be remembered as the little girl that started a blog to make people more aware of childhood cancers. She became a celebrity long before ABC's Extreme Makeover Home Edition built her and her family a home, this past summer near Corvallis, Oregon.

Enjoy your new home in heaven, Jenessa you earned it.

Jenessa' blog

YouTube Is My Life

The next Weird Al!!

Britney movie offers come flying in

First there was the offer of playing the Virgin Mary now she has been offered another role. This time it is more fitting, she'll play the girlfriend of a misdiagnosed mental patient. With the way that the Spears family keeps getting in the news this blog would soon be about just them. I hope someone out shines them soon and I don't just mean with bad news - we need to hear something good about the stars not just them having babies. Read the article below for more info on Britney's movie offer.

Being underage and pregnant pays off for Jamie Spears

Now here is a clear message to the youth of America, be younger than 17, get pregnant and sell your story and photos to a major magazine. Jamie Spears just did that. She has sold exclusive rights to the story and photos of her pregnancy to OK magazine for a cool million dollars.

Paris Hilton broke? Hardly!

The news released today about Paris Hilton's grandfather changing his will has made the gossip rounds. Now for a reality check, Paris has become a very wealthy lady in her own right. With the many reality shows and appearances she has done over the past several years she doesn't need her family's fortune - she has her own.

Celebrities that died in 2007

The year is not over yet but the video below is a tribute to those that have passed in 2007.

Michael Jackson to undergo radical surgery


Michael Jackson must undergo emergency surgery to correct a past surgery. I guess he went a little over board on his looks. It is amazing what photoshop can do for you, Michael.

Valerie Bertinelli and Eddie Van Halen, divorce final


On Dec 21, 2007 the divorce of Valerie and Eddie became final. They were married in 1981 and were separated since 2000. No information available about custody for their 16 year old son, Wolfgang. Wolfgang is on tour with his father and is the bass player for the band.

Britney chasing the paparazzo, a jazz legend dies and more hot news

Isn't there a day the goes by that we DON'T here about Britney Spears? Not lately! Below is the latest video news. Merry Christmas everyone and thanks for the early Christmas gift yesterday - over 5000 visitors! You guys are the greatest. It really feels like I am putting a blog together that people really enjoy. Now if there are any readers that want to be famous you might want to leave me a comment about some juicy gossip so I can let the world know and point them to your website or another place on the web. Note: all comments are moderated so you can give me your info without worrying about it being published right away. Now enjoy the news.

Dr. Phil says Lynn Spears is a great mom!!

I always knew there was something about Dr. Phil that just didn't seem right. This current statement now clinches it for me - he is nothing but a glorified talk show host. The man has just insulted the really good parents in the world by adding the mom of a pregnant 16 year old and her drug addicted sister. Read the article below that was just released on Christmas eve no less.

What ever happened to Lynda Carter - Wonder Woman?


We have not seen much of Lynda Carter, AKA Wonder Woman of the 1970's TV show. What is she doing now? Her last movie was a small unknown work called "The creature from the sunny side up trailer park"made in 2004. She is not down and out by any means. She is living in the Washington DC area married to an attorney, her second husband.

The Governator of California - nude


Arnold Schwarzenegger is stark raving nude in this vintage shot of him many, many years ago. I just had to put a male hunk on here since all I have been putting on here is half dressed female celebs. Got to put some nice shots of the guys. While I am at it why don't you leave in the comments what hunky celebrity guys you would like to see here. I do some sniffing around and see what I come up with.

Queen Elizabeth to have her own You Tube spot

Royalty have joined the internet and are on You Tube no less. The Queen herself will be putting her own videos on You Tube. I have the link to the You Tube official royal site just below the article at the bottom of this post.




The official royal You Tube page

Paris Hilton can't stay in her swimsuit


Poor Paris, not matter what she did that day at the beach she was always popping out. Keep it covered Paris - the paparazzi are everywhere.

Unsaid by Hartwell their first video

Great work. The girl in the video is the actual girl the song is about. Thanks for letting me know about it. You will be famous in no time at all.

Britney Spears nude


Well almost nude.

French swimmer Laure Manaudou swims naked

The buzz is all over the internet about Laure Manaudou swimming naked for her boyfriend. She is a Gold Medal Olympic swimmer. The photos have been plastered all over the internet so no need to post them here.

Jessica Simpson and her honey the QB of the Dallas Cowboys


What does Jessica see in her new beau? Is it because he is a jock or is she looking for more money? It certainly can't be for his good looks because quite frankly he doesn't have any. Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson. will it last or just a fling?

Rock, Williams, Armstong and Miss USA entertain the troops

Now that Bob Hope is gone a new generation of entertainers has taken up the cause of entertaining the US troops at Christmas time. Watch the video below.

Here is the latest buzz on LL and BS

Oh the rumour mill is going into overtime. Lindsey Lohan is being reported to be a lesbian. All I can say is who cares! Why is it anyones business what someone does in their bedroom? I know is makes for good or bad press and it sells copy but most of us couldn't care less about her sex life. The next rumour running amok is Britney Spears, this time not about her little sister but about her kids. Everyone is wondering if the kids are being tested for drugs. This rumour I find a bit on the bizarre side but with what has been going on with that family - who knows? Oh by the way the latest on the Spears family saga has Britney and Jamie's mom thinking she will be writing a book on parenting. That makes as much sense as M. Vick writing a book on dog care.

The Spears family girls are messed up

Britney and Jamie the 2 girls that any mother would dread having. If it wasn't for their ability to earn money at a young age I would think that both girls would be in some sort of rehab program.

If this happened to a "normal" family
  • Britney would be hidden from the public until she got her act together. Her children would be taken away permanently and her wages garnished for child support. She would have a criminal record that would prevent her form having a decent job.
  • Jamie would either have a shotgun wedding, abortion or give the baby up for adoption. At 16 she would be expected to finish school and either get a job or afford to go on to college.

But what is really happening to these 2 is that they are getting all kinds of publicity and money because of it. Jamie is following Britney's lead and finding out that getting into trouble if you are a celebrity pays off. Top that off with the fact that Britney denies that Jamie is pregnant (see video below) and you have more gossip for the hounds.


A legend passes - Dan Fogelberg


Dan Fogelberg died today at the age of 56. The cause was cancer. His music will live on. He had many hits including "The Leader of the Band". His official website has lots of information about his life including all his music which you can listen to for free.


John Berg found dead - suicide


The actor, John Berg was found in his home dead. He apparently committed suicide by self induced carbon monoxide. He appeared in TV shows such as House, NCIS and Monk.

Britney Spears in the role of the Virgin Mary?

Hot off the press!!!! Britney has been offered the role of the Virgin Mary in a new movie! The film producer must want some publicity for his new movie and by offering the role of Mary to her he sure got everyone talking, including the Catholic Chruch. The full article is below.

The Dancing Cop

If you have ever seen this guy you will remember him. I remember one year they put him to music. It goes to prove that you don't have to be a celebrity to become one. Watch and enjoy.

The new Indiana Jones movie

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull finished filming on October 11, 2007 and is now in editing and special effects. This movie is the 4th Indiana Jones movie. It is scheduled to be released in May of 2008.

Official website of Indiana Jones

Mummy 3, the movie coming in 2008

The third Mummy movie has just finished shooting and is now off to editing and special effects. The third movie is set in China and is to be called "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor". Starting Brenden Fraser as in the first 2 movies it hopefully will have the same action with a touch of comedy. Rachel Weisz will not be in this third Mummy movie. It's release date is July 2008.

Christmas gifts from your favorite movie or TV show

Watch the video and learn where you can get props used in major TV shows and movies.

Why do we have to know?

What is so fascinating about celebrities that we have to follow their every move? Is it that we want to know more about them? Or is it that the media in general has pressured the public into thinking they want to know more? When a person first hears about something happening to a big name celebrity most reactions are mild until a second or third person hits on the same information then just sit back and watch the frenzy grow. I really think we feed on each other when it comes to celebrities and gossip. All I can say is welcome to the feeding frenzy.

X-Files to be on the big screen

The latest talk on the new X-Files movie.

Are you ready to rock on New Years' Eve?

Some of the most beautiful people will be at the chic gala balls in New York city this New Years' eve. Do you want to know where they will be? Check out this article Planning your New Years eve party. It mentions a website that has the lists of where those famous people are going to be at.

I hate Dom Imus

This is one guy that I have disliked from the first time I glimpsed at his ugly face early one morning while getting ready for work. He looks like a Willi Nelson wannabee without the voice. At least Willie has a really nice personality and shows he cares about people. This guy is something else. They should have pushed Imus back under the rock he crawled out from under in the first place. Now he is back on the air!

Bionic Woman star speaks about her role as villian

Katee Sackhoff is the fantasic villian on Bionic Woman. Watch her interview.

Celebrities need to know how to wear make-up


I know us "regular" folk s don't have to worry what we look like in public but celebrities like Brittney (in the photo, minus make-up), Lohan and others known for their looks should at least make an effort to know how to use make-up. You and I have to know how to apply the stuff but most of the actresses and singers have make-up artists do it for them. Don't they (the celebs) take notes when the make-up artists are working on them? Maybe they should take a course in make-up techniques.

Latest news - hot off the video feed

The Jackson 5 to return? What's the matter? Do they need the money? I don't think I am ready for that group to come back. Let's move forward instead of backward.

Jorja Fox quits CSI

I guess it is official, Jorja Fox won't be coming back to CSI, Las Vegas. Her decision to leave was partly due to her work load as a regular on the show. She explains her reasons in an exclusive interview with Entertainment Weekly. She did mention she would love to come back as a guest star.

If I was writing that show here is how I would handle the situation. Gil Grissom and Sara would go through with their plans to marry. Since it is against policy for relatives and spouses to work together, Sara would have to have another career or become a housewife. As such she could should up occasionally on CSI as Gil's wife.

In pursuit of facts, just the facts and only the facts

Have you ever wondered what were the movie star's real names? Wonder no more since here is a list of Celebrities real names. Courtesy of the Dissfunktional blog.

CSI, behind the scenes

CSI is one of my favorite shows. Take a peek behind the scenes

New Star Trek movie to star Capt. Kirk without William Shatner

Bill Shanter has a myspace.com account of which I am a "friend". As a friend he shares many of his personal struggles and goings on in his life. He recently sent all his friends a video of himself and comments about not being asked to join the new movie. As a long time fan of Star Trek I am also a bit taken back. I would love to hear your comments on this, what do you think?

You can't escape the paparazzi, Lindsay Lohan




Apparently Lindsay can't hide from the paparazzi and her boobs want to come out of hiding and wave hello at
the cameras too. Is Lindsay's next big move to the porn screen? She sure is advertising it that way.

Thanksgiving plans for the Jolie-Pitt clan


The Global trotting Jolie-Pitt family plans on having Thanksgiving dinner with Brad's family this year. The 4 kids can then run amok while dinner is being cooked. Sounds like the rest of us doesn't it?

Earl Paulk - infamous man of the cloth


Earl is or was, the "Archbishop" of the Cathedral of the Holy Spirit in Atlanta. This is a guy who is suppose to have the highest moral standards there is. What does he do? He fathers his own nephew! He has sex with his grand daughter and has molested or raped countless others and the "Church" has done very little - WTF!!! This is a man who could not keep his pecker in his pants.

Brittney is at it again - at least this time she was wearing underwear



I am honestly not sure about the underwear part. Motherhood to some celebs just means having a working pair of ovaries.


Oprah and her gizmos


Oprah just announced one of her favorite things a "Clarisonic". Ok, so what is it? It is an overpriced gizmo for cleaning your face. It looks almost like a cordless toothbrush on steroids. Priced at $195.00 I'll stick to wash cloth, thank you. I guess the manufacturers will have a nice Christmas rush on the damn thing simply because some celebrity said they use it. Hey Oprah do you have stock in the company?

Jessica Sierra, zit queen and candidate for messed up Idol


Jessica, Jessica, Jessica, when will you learn? Stay away from the drugs and the bar scene. The drugs are only making your zits worse and bar room brawls are for guys - not Idols.

Neil Diamond on a rebound


The 66 year old singer is on the rebound with his song "Sweet Caroline". One can only wonder why it took the man 40 years to reveal who inspired him. Is it a publicity stunt to get him back in the headlines again? If it is it sure did work. His song "Sweet Caroline" and Caroline Kennedy have just hit all time highs for Internet searches across all search engines.


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P. Diddy accused of assult

The rapper P. Diddy is in the news - again

A new blog!!

I guess I have decided to join the ranks of the many millions of blogs out in cyber space. I don't know if one day this little blog will be as famous as Perez Hilton but I won't know if I don't try.

John Inman of "Are You being Served?", British comedy, dies


John Inman played Mister Humphries the character he made famous world wide in the British TV comedy show "Are You Being Served" has died. He was 71 years old. The comedy show ran on British TV during the 1970's and was imported to the USA in the 1980's.